Friday, 23 November 2012

Asleep


Sleep used to come naturally to me.

I did have trouble going to sleep when it was windy, when if felt as though the trees near our house must certainly be blown down, and I would lie in bed terrified and hold my breath during the biggest gusts, expecting disaster at any moment.

Usually though, I slept long and deep.

And oh, how fondly I remember the times that I was young enough to be carried into the house when I had fallen asleep in the car, Dad scooping me up and bringing me inside, almost but not quite waking up in the cold night air.

And that feeling of getting into bed after a hot bath the night after the sheets had all been changed, all smooth and crumb free and warm.

Nowadays my sleep pattern is more disturbed. I have vivid dreams that are often frightening but when I wake up with a jolt, scared, there is the comforting weight of my boyfriend sleeping beside me. I envy him his ability to drift off at a moment’s notice.

When I do sleep alone, I push the nightlight into the plug beside my bed. I might be a grown up now, but I’m still afraid of the dark.

When sleep eludes me even though I’m tired, I get frustrated. I start counting the hours until I need to get up. My mind whirls. I jot down words on the pad beside my bed, must get this, must do that, in the hopes that I can clear up the tangled mess of thoughts inside my head. I toss and I turn and I think that I will never get to sleep.

And then suddenly it’s the next day, and I’m awake, and I have slept, somehow, eventually.

 

12 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, once I am in London, I'll be too poor to pay for the dress haha living there will be SO different from going as a tourist...Makes me nervous to think about it

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  2. That's one of the things I'm most excited about because I LOVE thriftshopping, but there's barely any stores in Portugal like that. When I went to Boston I dragged my dad and my stepmother to Newbury Street, which is basically Boston's shopping street - it has a LOT of stores and many of those are secondhand and thrift. I love going through the racks looking for a gem. It's where I get my adrenaline fix hehe

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  3. I am the same...have so much trouble sleeping lately! Love those moments when you get refreshed with really deep sleep...I guess missing a few hours makes me all the more grateful for good sleep!

    <3 Cambria
    jupefashion.blogspot.com

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  4. I'm terrible at sleeping... it's hard to get to sleep and it's hard to stay asleep. I miss the days when I could sleep 10 hours no problem!

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  5. I love sleeping...but I do feel like it used to be so much easier when I was smaller. Maybe it's because I didn't have to worry about anything, whereas now I have to think about so many things that sometimes I wake up unable to go back to sleep with too many thoughts on my mind...anyway I can't imagine life without good sleep, haha :)

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  6. Ohh amazing honey,well done;-)
    xx
    B.
    http://www.beeswonderland.com/

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  7. Great post Louisa .. I'm exactly the same. I don't sleep properly anymore and am always thinking of things I have to do.
    I'm completely buggered in a few weeks when new baby arrives too.

    Joanne

    http://www.balletpumpsandroses.com

    xx

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  8. You have such a beautiful way with words!!

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  9. This is really nicely written! I am sorry you are having sleep issues though, I have had sleep issues since I was a teenager, its really the worst! I buy Neurosleep (its a line of drinks for different things, you can get it at some supermarkets) and keep one or two around in case im really having a lot of trouble! I dont even drinks the whole thing just about 1/3 or so! It isn't heavy sleep meds like Nyquil or anything so you don't feel ridiculously groggy when you wake up! I also dont drink coffee past about 11am! Anyway, hope that helps!
    xo Hannah

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  10. I have been having the insomnia beast for a month now. I hope I get over it soon because the circles under my eyes aren't looking pretty!

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  11. aweeee i need some of that right now too...sigh. xO!
    www.thehautecookie.com

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